Rejoice always! Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks.
(1Thess 5:16-18a)
There was a world-wide collective sigh of relief when the clock rolled past midnight on December 31, 2020 and ushered in January 1, 2021. What a year! With the global pandemic, businesses, schools and churches closed, a dread of the unknown hung in the air. So many families suffered loss; loss of loved ones, loss of income, loss of social connections, loss of health, loss of peace.
Scripture commands that we rejoice and give thanks in all circumstances. My husband died in July and our family was still reeling from the loss when the sucker punch came three months later when my brother, Rick also passed away. Both men were deacons in their mid-sixties, in apparent good health. They both went to bed expressing some fatigue and never woke up. So how do we rejoice and give thanks in the face of such fear, suffering and, grief?
I have spent much time reflecting on that year and when I do I see the providential hand of God revealed in so many circumstances.
For a year and a half, we had worked on plans to take a group on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. We had friends and parishioners from our church and folks from two different parishes that my son served in. We left Michigan in late January and spent ten days in Israel. We celebrated Dave’s 66th birthday on the Sea of Galilee. We renewed our wedding vows in Cana. We had Mass at the Church of the Transfiguration atop Mount Tabor. Mount Carmel, Emmaus, Bethany, Jericho, Jerusalem, and Bethlehem were all so remarkable. As our trip was coming to an end, we started hearing the first reports of the coronavirus. Our pilgrimage was one of the last trips to be completed before everything was shut down.
In February, shortly after returning home, I received a phone call alerting us to a public-school board meeting that was happening that evening. There was a proposal to update the “health” curriculum for the district with a program developed by Planned Parenthood associates to include many objectionable materials but particularly adding trans-gender ideology. This meeting was the first of two required public comment meetings. Dave and I had about 45 minutes to look at the materials and prepare something to say in opposition. That meeting kicked off a series of meetings with other like-minded parents over the next six weeks. (We gathered over 100 names on our e-mail list.) Ultimately, the required second public comment meeting was postponed and then cancelled due to the pandemic. The whole issue was dropped.
By mid-March the schools were closed. Since Dave and I both worked at Fr Gabriel Richard High School we both had a lot more time at home and had to learn new skills like running a class on Zoom and trying to get my special ed 8th grader to sit in front of a computer screen for school. On the upside, we had dinner together every night. All Dave’s evening meetings were cancelled. No jail ministry, basketball games, or track meets to fill his schedule. For the first time in our marriage, he was home. I know it drove him a bit crazy being in the house so much, but I was glad to see more of him.
As teachers were scrambling to come up with meaningful on-line lessons, the sophomore theology teacher asked Dave and me to make a video reflection on the Sacrament of Marriage. (I learned a new skill: make a video and post it on YouTube). Our pastor at St. Patrick asked each of the deacons to record a reflection to post on the parish website. Masses were live-streamed and homilies were recorded. Many uplifting spiritual resources became available on the internet and I had the time to view them.
Like everyone else, we had to find things to do to fill our extra time at home. We took walks together and became reacquainted with many of our neighbors. We did much needed yardwork (ripping out overgrown shrubs and laying down lots and lots of mulch). Dave took the opportunity to have a daily holy hour at a nearby church. Every day he would power walk four laps (2 miles) around our neighborhood praying for each of our neighbors by name as he went past their homes.
Springtime is particularly busy for the education community (prom, field trips, final exams/projects, graduations, etc.) It is also a busy time for the church community (Holy Week, Easter Triduum, baptisms, confirmation, first communions, ordinations). As “two weeks to slow the spread” stretched into months everything was cancelled or postponed. The most distressing thing for me was watching the Easter Vigil Mass on my computer. It was just so wrong to not be present at Mass, especially Easter. Then a surprise arrived the following morning. My son Fr. Peter came home from his parish assignment as everything there was closed. What an unexpected blessing it was for us to celebrate Mass on Easter Sunday in our own home.
It is difficult to describe the months following my husband’s death. Normal life was put on hold as funeral plans, insurance forms and medical questions had to be addressed. Yet, God sent so many graces. I felt emotionally and spiritually lifted up. So many cards, Masses for Dave, phone calls, meals, help around the house. Even to this day, people come up to me and say they pray for me and my family. I was overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of so many people.
The following year, in August of 2021, my daughter Anne was married. On that beautiful day an audible sob escaped my lips as she came into view. Her brother David walked Anne down the aisle in his father’s place. How I wished he was there. Later, at the reception after the toasts were made, the Father of the Bride gave us his reflection on marriage to a hushed and tearful audience. My son-in-law, John-Paul, edited the recording of Dave’s theology lesson on marriage. It was perfect. As Dave’s voice boomed over the loud speakers it seemed as though he was right there with us.
The unusual events of 2020 created circumstances that God used to draw out blessings in the midst of the trials. I am so thankful we were able to complete our pilgrimage to the Holy Land before the pandemic hit. We would not have had another opportunity to go. Because of the lockdowns a terrible “health” curriculum could not be implemented. Also due to the lockdowns, the last three months of our marriage I had my husband’s undivided attention. We had dinner together, we took walks, we got projects done and just enjoyed each other’s company. And I am so thankful for the number of Dave’s homilies and lessons that were recorded that I would not have had if it wasn’t for 2020.
As difficult as that year was for everyone, God’s providence was abundant and discernable. You just have to take the time to reflect on it. I want to thank God for His great love for me and my family and for the many blessings that came in 2020.
You Are Loved 