The One Thing That Can Conquer God
From the Office of Readings Thursday 3rd week of Lent
The Spiritual Offering of Prayer
“Since God asks for prayer offered in spirit and in truth, how can he deny anything to this kind of prayer? How great is the evidence of its power, as we read and hear and believe….
From the treatise On Prayer by Tertullian, priest
In the past prayer was able to bring down punishment, rout armies, withhold the blessing of rain. Now, however, the prayer of the just turns aside the whole anger of God, keeps vigil for its enemies, pleads for persecutors. Is it any wonder that it can call down water from heaven when it could obtain fire from heaven as well? Prayer is the one thing that can conquer God. But Christ has willed that it should work no evil, and has given it all power over good.
Its only art is to call back the souls of the dead from the very journey into death, to give strength to the weak, to heal the sick, to exorcise the possessed, to open prison cells, to free the innocent from their chains. Prayer cleanses from sin, drives away temptations, stamps out persecutions, comforts the fainthearted, gives new strength to the courageous, brings travelers safely home, calms the waves, confounds robbers, feeds the poor, overrules the rich, lifts up the fallen, supports those who are falling, sustains those who stand firm…
What more need be said on the duty of prayer? Even the Lord himself prayed. To him be honor and power for ever and ever. Amen.”
I am reminded of a time I was under a lot of pressure financially and as a wife and mother.
In the Summer of 2010, the year after Dave’s ordination to the diaconate, I was working 30 hours per week as an engineer. Our three sons were out of the house and the five girls were all at home. Two daughters had just graduated from high school and were getting ready for college. The third daughter was about to start her sophomore year at Catholic high school and the two youngest daughters were receiving Special Education services from the public elementary school. The 9-year-old had autism and the 5-year-old had Down Syndrome. We were also caring for my mother-in-law living in a nearby nursing home.
Financially, it seems like we could never get out from under crushing debt. In 2008 our home in Kalamazoo went back to the bank as we could not find a buyer and we owed more than the house was worth thanks to the housing market crash. We had a huge mortgage on the new house as we had very little to put down. We were making payments on two cars, tuition and the credit card. (That disheartening credit card balance! No matter how much we paid on it there always seemed to be unexpected repairs that couldn’t wait. The balance just kept going up).
On paper it seemed like we should be able to make some progress in paying down the debt with both of us working but it just wasn’t happening. I did everything I could think of to save money. Almost all home repairs were DIY. I repaired appliances, installed garbage disposals, installed flooring, plumbing and light fixtures. I became quite proficient with the hair trimmer on the boys and Dave. We ate a lot of macaroni and cheese.
I really liked my engineering job and we obviously needed the income but, every time I picked up the girls from daycare I felt a tug at my heart. As a mom I was struggling with the need to be home more, particularly with two special needs kiddos. When I was a new mother, I was adamant that I do what was necessary to be at home to raise our children. But as a mom in my 50’s I felt like my little ones were getting leftovers.
That summer of 2010, Dave and I attended a retreat for deacons and their wives. During one of the sessions when the men were going over practical stuff, the ladies were treated to a reflection on the Miracle at Cana John 2:1-5
On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “What business do you have with Me, woman? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He tells you, do it.” John 2:1-5
We were invited to take some time and come to Jesus with those places in our lives where we had “run out of wine.”
I poured out my heart to God. I was thankful for my job and the much-needed income but I was torn because the kids need more from Mom. I didn’t know what to ask for as our financial situation seemed beyond any solution I could think of. I just told Jesus that I was tired of being anxious about finances all the time and that I desired to be more present to my kids. I wrote my prayer down in the retreat folder and didn’t tell anyone. That time of prayer was one of those moments where I was completely honest with God, no pious platitudes, no excuses. I had no great plans to carry out my wishes. After 26 years of marriage and eight children, I was mentally exhausted trying to make ends meet.
I didn’t think about that day for nearly a year and a half. One day as I was decluttering my room, I came across the retreat folder and reread through that prayer. I was astonished that God had provided an answer and I did not perceive it as it happened.
Shortly after the retreat in August Dave and I had the honor of praying at his mother’s bedside as she passed away after a very full life of 92 years. About a month later, an unexpected distribution came from what was left of her estate. With those funds we were able to pay off our credit card debt and one of the cars.
Then, just after the kids started back to school, I was laid off at work and began collecting unemployment. This allowed me to be present frequently in Rachael’s classroom for her kindergarten year and for Catherin in third grade. Being home meant I was no longer paying for after-school care. Living within our means suddenly became possible while staying at home during the little girls’ early elementary years. I am still amazed at the way God resolved seeming impossible difficulties. It was such a relief; I was no longer checking bank balances daily to see if there was enough to pay a bill. The anxiety about finances disappeared in 2010 and hasn’t returned since.
After being laid off for about a year I was called back to my engineering job with reduced hours that allowed me to drive the kids to and from school. Over the course of the next ten years as jobs came and went God always provided the next position. I have worked as a substitute teacher, an energy efficiency engineer, and a high school math/science teacher assistant.
When my husband passed away in 2020 and the schools were shut down, I started homeschooling Rachael and at 62 I retired from work permanently… or so I thought. This past month an unexpected opportunity to work again in the nuclear energy field came to me out of the blue. The work is completely remote at home with flexible hours so I am still able to teach Rachael and have stimulating interactions with some old colleagues.
God has been so gracious to me over all these years. He has provided for me and my family in super-abundance. He is such a good Father who delights in giving good gifts to his children. In great gratitude I acknowledge God’s loving providence.
This verse was the theme of our wedding Mass and has been the foundation of our family life. My trust in God’s faithfulness has never been disappointed.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
You Are Loved 